A Valentine’s Day rebellion
Love is in the air, or so they say. As we reflect on Valentine's Day, what do you think of? Quotes like "I love her and it is the beginning of everything," or "There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved," by George Sand, might come to mind.
A quick Google search reveals how Valentine's Day has evolved over the years. It's progressed from a day associated with romantic love in the 14th and 15th centuries to a day in 18th-century England when couples expressed love with flowers, confectionery, and greeting cards. Today, symbols like heart-shaped outlines, doves, and Cupid represent this day, which we now see as celebrating romantic love between lovers.
But what about the way we celebrate it now? I sent my three-and-a-half-year-old off to school on February 14th, and he came home with a bag full of cards, candy, chocolates, cheap plastic toys, and notes with corny puns. I had a vague idea this would happen, as I received an email from the school instructing parents to address gifts to "friend”, not the student's name, to save time. There are 22 "friends" in his class. I thought about it, debated it, asked around, and then I rebelled. I sent my child to school with no cards, no candy, and no junk to hand out to 21 other three-year-olds. Does that make me a bad mom? I was jovially reminded by one family member that, "All the other moms will be talking about you." My response? If they are, they're not the people I want to be friends with.
Why did I choose to be a non-conformist? Because I'm standing my ground, preserving the true meaning of Valentine's Day, and refusing to add to my already exhaustive to-do list. First, we complain about mental load, and then we send our young children off to school with unnecessary items like these. Who's driving this? Moms. Who's complaining about mental load? Moms. Is it necessary? Absolutely not. In fact, it's harmful.
Why must we teach our barely school-aged children to hand out candy to everyone in the class? Can't a day about love be intimate and special, sacred to be shared between two people? I had planned to send my little love off to school with one heart-shaped chocolate as a nice surprise in his lunchbox, but given all the other chaos, I didn't. The specialness would have been lost in the sea of junk.
Instead, I sent him to school with a book for the teachers to share with the class, "What a Wonderful World," illustrated to the famous song by Louis Armstrong. The lyrics, "I see trees of green, red roses too, I see them bloom for me and you," might be more appropriate for a class of 3-5-year-olds. "They'll learn much more than I'll ever know," can we please just be sure to teach them well?
Consumerism and materialism seem to win again. Can we turn back? Can we reflect and protect our little ones, protect our environment from adding wasteful, meaningless trash? Can we bring back the sanctity and intimacy of love between two people?
This is a call to simply life, teach our children, and celebrate love, authentically.
Please.
Who conforms and why?
In the context of Valentine's Day, Asch's experiments on conformity shed light on why individuals might conform to societal expectations, such as participating in gift-giving practices, even when they may not align with their personal beliefs. Asch found that people often conform to fit in or avoid standing out, particularly when others in their group agree on something that is clearly wrong, or in this case, unnecessary. This behavior is more pronounced among females and within groups you perceive to be part of, where the pressure to conform is stronger.
Individuals with a strong sense of self, however, are less likely to succumb to this pressure. They have a secure understanding of their values, beliefs, and identity, which insulates them from seeking validation through conformity. Developing a strong sense of self involves introspection, self-awareness, setting boundaries, and being authentic, all of which can help individuals resist societal pressures to conform.
Reflection: Consider the actions you take on Valentine's Day or other occasions that you may not truly want to do but do out of fear of judgment or to avoid standing out.
Activity: Examine your daily, weekly, and annual task list. Identify tasks that you could remove to free up time for activities that align more closely with your authentic self.
Share Your Stories and Ideas
♥ Share Your Experiences: Have you conformed to a certain behaviour or activity you don’t believe in?
♥ Offer Your Insights: What would contribute to making the people and places you interact with more supportive of our busy lives?
♥ Seek and Give Support: Sometimes, just knowing you're not alone in your journey can make all the difference. Share your challenges and triumphs, and offer support to others in their journey.
Learn Together
♥ Educational Resources: We'll be sharing articles, expert interviews, and research findings to deepen our understanding of these topics.
Build a Supportive Network
♥ Connect with Others: Use our Instagram platform to connect with people from all walks of life who share your interest in fostering a more understanding and inclusive approach to parenting.
♥ Grow Together: As we share and learn from each other, we grow not just as individuals but as a community that values empathy, understanding, and adaptability.
This isn't just a discussion; it's a movement towards a more empathetic and inclusive world of parenting. making time for what truly matters and what is genuinely important. Your voice, your stories, and your insights are the fuel that drives this movement forward. So, let's come together to share, learn, and support each other in this ever-evolving journey of parenting.
Looking to embrace your true self this Valentine's Day? fall in love with our resources section for strategies and tips on finding your sense of self, communicating boundaries, and exploring your values and beliefs.
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